I saw this cartoon on WEIT last week and found it quite poignant. No, Mike and I aren’t separating :) This is a friend-related post. To be more precise it’s about knowing when it’s time to let friends go. I think it’s human nature to try to hold on- despite the evidence that may not be a good idea. Life changes, priorities change, circumstances change and sometimes certain things just don’t work any more. I’ve always been very good at drawing a line under situations and moving on. It’s harder when people are very insistent and refuse to cooperate in saying goodbye.
I feel a certain measure of guilt for not having the same sort of sentimental attachments that other people have- but I just don’t. I also feel guilty because rejection hurts people. In a perfect world, things like this wouldn’t be taken personally. After all, some people love pineapple and other people don’t. That some people dislike it doesn’t mean pineapple is bad, just that it’s not to some people’s taste.
I’m also/always surprised at some people’s inclination to wishful thinking/self-deception. Things rarely happen like in the cartoon above. Rather, it seems to me, people hold on to the idealization of relationships. The fantasy version that exists only in one’s mind. This is particularly true when there’s an imbalance of powers, when dependency on the relationship is one-sided. As another friend explained to me this morning, this is a natural reaction. It concerns the justification of the self. In certain cases it also concerns the justification of bad behaviour.