We’re going out to lunch… and when we return, if sufficiently sober, I’ll take on the translation of an Umberto Eco article for L’Espresso (arrogant individual I am.) If you already read Italian (as Angry Ricky probably does- he mentioned Eco a couple of days ago, that’s what reminded me of this article.) Here’s the original. Even if you speak Italian, you may not understand the title as it’s Milanese slang. I remember paying eight euros for a coca-cola in Milan- OUTRAGEOUS. Anyway, there’s no direct translation for the title, but its sentiment is basically bloody idiot. Ostrega means oyster, comparable to the Castillian Spanish exclamation hostia. Pistola means gun. You do the math. The subtitle is “repertoire of gentle offence”.
Pistola dell’ostrega
Repertorio di offese gentili
Umberto Eco
Il Politically Correct è un vero e proprio movimento d’idee nato nell’università americana, d’ispirazione liberal e radical, e quindi di sinistra, volto al riconoscimento del multiculturalismo, per ridurre alcuni radicati vizi linguistici che stabilivano linee di discriminazione nei confronti di qualsiasi minoranza. E dunque si è iniziato a dire ‘blacks’ e poi ‘Afro Americans’ invece di ‘negri’, ‘gay’ invece dei mille e notissimi altri appellativi sprezzanti riservati agli omosessuali. Naturalmente questa campagna per la purificazione del linguaggio ha prodotto il proprio fondamentalismo, sino ai casi più vistosi in cui alcune femministe avevano proposto di non dire più ‘history’ che per via del pronome ‘his’ faceva pensare che la storia fosse ‘di lui’, bensì ‘herstory’, storia di lei – ovviamente ignorando l’etimologia greco-latina del termine, che non implica alcun riferimento di genere.
Però la tendenza ha assunto anche aspetti neoconservatori o francamente reazionari. Se tu decidi di chiamare le persone in carrozzella non più handicappati e neppure disabili, ma ‘diversamente abili’, e poi non gli costruisci le rampe d’accesso ai luoghi pubblici, evidentemente hai ipocritamente rimosso la parola, ma non il problema. E del pari si dica della sostituzione di disoccupato con ‘nullafacente a tempo indefinito’ o di licenziato con ‘in transizione programmata tra cambiamenti di carriera’. Chissà perché un banchiere non si vergogna della sua definizione e non insiste per essere chiamato operatore nel campo del risparmio. Se ti cambiano il nome è per dimenticare che qualcosa non funziona nella cosa stessa.
Su questi e infiniti altri problemi si intrattiene Edoardo Crisafulli con il suo libro ‘Il politicamente corretto e la libertà linguistica’, che mette a nudo tutte le contraddizioni, i pro e i contro di questa tendenza – e tra l’altro è anche molto divertente. Leggendolo però mi veniva da riflettere al caso curioso del nostro paese. Mentre altrove esplodeva e si diffondeva il Politically Correct da noi si è sempre più sviluppato il Politicamente Scorretto. Se una volta i nostri uomini politici, leggendo su un foglietto, dicevano: “Emerge che si consente che, a una politica delle convergenze, ancorché parallele, si preferirebbe una scelta asintotica che eliminasse anche singoli punti d’intersezione”, oggi si preferisce dire: “Dialogo? In culo a quegli sporchi figli di puttana!”. È vero che anche un tempo nei circoli paleocomunisti si usava bollare l’avversario come ‘mosca cocchiera’ e in parlamento, durante le risse, si facevano scelte lessicali più incontinenti di quelle di uno scaricatore del porto, ma erano territori per così dire delimitati, ove si accettava un costume – come peraltro avveniva nei casini di venerata memoria, dove le signore non erano più verbalmente controllate di un parlamentare. Oggi invece la tecnica dell’insulto è teletrasmessa, segno di fede inconcussa nei valori della democrazia.
Si era iniziato probabilmente con Bossi, il cui celodurismo alludeva ovviamente a un celofloscismo altrui, e l’appellativo di ‘Berluskaz’ era inequivocabile, ma la cosa è dilagata. Stefano Bartezzaghi, nella sua rubrica del ‘Venerdì di Repubblica’, cita dei giochi d’insulto oggi in circolazione, ma a livello tutto sommato bonario. Per cui, onde contribuire anch’io all’addolcimento del Politicamente Scorretto italiano, dopo aver consultato una serie di dizionari anche dialettali, mi permetto di suggerire alcune espressioni tutto sommato bonaccione e gentili per insultare l’avversario, quali verbigrazia: pistola dell’ostrega, papaciugo, imbolsito, crapapelata, piffero, marocchino, pivellone, ciulandario, morlacco, badalucco, pischimpirola, tarabuso, balengu, piciu, cacasotto, malmostoso, lavativo, magnasapone, tonto, allocco, vaterclòs, caprone, magnavongole, zanzibar, bidone, ciocco, bartolomeo, mona, perdabàall, sguincio, merlo, dibensò, spaccamerda, tapiro, belinone, tamarro, burino, lucco, lingera, bernardo, lasagnone, vincenzo, babbiasso e/o babbione, grand e gross ciula e baloss, saletabacchi, fregnone, lenza, scricchianespuli, cagone, giocondo, asinone, impiastro, ciarlatano, cecè, salame, testadirapa, facciadimerda, farfallone, tanghero, cazzone, magnafregna, pulcinella, zozzone, scassapalle, mangiapaneatradimento, gonzo, bestione, buzzicone, cacacammisa, sfrappolato, puzzone, coatto, gandùla, pagnufli, cichinisio, brighella, tombino, pituano, pirla, carampana, farlocco, flanellone, ambroeus, bigàtt, flippato, fricchettone, gabolista, gaglioffo, bietolone, gadano, fighetta, blacboc, imbranato, balordo, grèbano, piattola, impagliato, asparagio, babbuino, casinaro, bagolone, cucuzzaro, accattone, barabba, loffio, tappo, caporale, toni, macaco, baluba, pappone, pizipinturro, polentone, bonga, quaquaraquà, tarpàno, radeschi, peracottaro, ciculaté, mandruccone, paraculo, fanigottone, scamorza, scricio, mezzasega, rocchettée, pataccaro, pinguino, margniflone, mortodesonno, sbragone, mortadella, scorreggione, pappamolla, furfantello, scioccherello, stolto, sventato e biricchino.
Update: 6:12 PM
Back from lunch and overly sober, so I’ve poured myself a glass of rioja. I complained about the price of a coca-cola in Milan a few hours ago, but discovered it’s possible to pay 8 euros for water right here… It’s called Bezoya, and actually comes in a lovely glass bottle- which I brought home. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. In totally unrelated news. We have a new, large television. As Mike was driving yesterday he saw a big sign that said, if you buy a TV at Media Markt (that’s a German chain of electronics stores all over the EU)- bring in your old TV and we will give you 2 euros off for every kilogram your old TV weighs. He loves that sort of thing and what made him even happier was that we had his late mother’s GIANT old TV in the basement. We left it there because it takes three men to move it and we were too lazy to ever dispose of it. Anyway, our giant new flatscreen only cost 120 euros after the discount, which is about 150 dollars. I told Mike that media Markt probably got these TV’s on ebay from the London rioters last year. Was it last year or this year? Back to the point- here’s Umberto Eco:
“Political Correctness is a true and proper movement. It was born in American universities of liberal and radical inspiration, therefore a movement of the Left, with the aim of acknowledging multiculturalism and reducing some of the ingrained linguistic vices that established lines of discrimination confronting various minorities. The movement began by saying “blacks” and later “African Americans” instead of “ni—r”. Then, “gay” instead of the thousands of other notorious options reserved for disparaging homosexuals.
Naturally, this campaign for the purification of language has produced a genuine fundamentalism, which has led to the notable case in which some feminists have proposed to no longer say “history” since it begins with the pronoun “his”, as they thought this meant that history was “his”. Instead they propose we say “herstory” – her (hi)story – obviously ignoring the Greco-Latin etymology which has no gender implications.
However, the tendency has also assumed neo-conservative, or frankly, reactionary aspects. If you decide to no longer call people in wheelchairs handicapped or even disabled, but “differently-abled” and then you do not construct access ramps in public places, it is evident that you have hypocritically removed the word but not the problem. And the same is true if you substitute saying “indefinitely unoccupied” for fired or “in a program of transition to change careers” for unemployed. Who knows why a banker isn’t ashamed of his title and doesn’t insist on being called an operator in the field of savings. If it’s not working, changing the name won’t fix it.
On these and an infinity of other problems, Edoardo Crisafulli amuses his readers in his book “The Politically Correct and Linguistic Liberty”, which strips naked all of these contradictions. He takes on both sides, pro and con, and is always very entertaining. Reading it, however, I came to reflect on the curious case of our country (Italy). While Political Correctness exploded elsewhere, in our case it was diffused and instead we are always developing more and more Political Incorrectness. If, at one time, one would read a newspaper and a politician would say: “As a politics of convergence is emerging, one would prefer an asymptotic choice that eliminated single points of intersection”; today he prefers to say: “Dialogue? To Hell with that dirty son of a bitch!”
It is true that at one time in old Communist circles they used to label the adversary “horseflies” and in speaking during meetings, they might have chosen to use a lexicon more insulting than that of a sailor, but that was in a time when there were no limits to what one could say – it was accepted as an affectation – as was once the case in the gentlemen’s clubs of venerated memory – where the gentlemen were not verbally inhibited. Today, instead, the technique of an insult is televised, a sign of unconcious faith in the valor of democracy.
It probably began with Bossi(Umberto Bossi of the right-wing Northern League)), in which his manly hardness obviously alludes to the softness of other people, and the appellation of “Berluskaz(Berlusconi + Cazzo)” was unmistakable but the thing spread widely. Stefano Bartezzaghi, writing under the name Venerdi di Repubblica, cites the play of insults today in circulation, but in good fun, all things considered.
Therefore, I too must contribute to the sweetness of Politically Incorrect Italian, and as I have consulted a series of dictionaries and dialects, permit me to suggest some polite and good-natured expressions with which to insult your enemy, graceful words: pistola dell’ostrega, papaciugo, imbolsito, crapapelata, piffero, marocchino, pivellone, ciulandario, morlacco, badalucco, pischimpirola…
There are two things the U.S.A. LGBT and supportive community can do to help Ugandan LGBT community while the Anti-Homosexuality Bill (Kill the Gays Bill) is about to pass Uganda’s Parliament:
