Expiration Dates on Negative Feelings
We had the strangest day yesterday. Mike got a call from an ex from 30 years ago. Someone he spent a couple of years with. The second year was particularly acrimonious. This person has a terminal illness and apparently needed “closure”. If you still need closure from a 2 year relationship, 30 years later, I’ve got a feeling your world-view is a bit skewed. Mike listened to whatever he had to say and then said goodbye and that was the end of that. I find it shocking that anyone could hold on to whatever it is from something as insignificant (in the great scheme of things) as a short lived, unsuccessful relationship in one’s youth. We should put expiration dates on things that bring us down. Of course it’s normal to be angry after a break-up. I’ve had my share of wishing an ex or two got attacked by a swarm of killer bees… But then another relationship begins and eventually whatever happened in the one before stops mattering. When you finally meet (or realize you’re with) the right person, then you understand that everything that came before was a learning experience that contributes to your ability to be in the right relationship. It’s knowing what doesn’t work that allows us to recognize what does work.
The call was a bit sad, but timely. We’re equally unsentimental, so we found the call rather absurd if not ridiculous. That means we have to admit how incredibly synchronized we are with each other, despite the occasional (fabricated) arguments.