Observations on the Acceptance of Imperfection
I’ve wasted much time in life because of my former inability to accept the world, and people, and life, as they are. A sure-fire recipe for unhappiness that fans the flames of depression. Instead of using time to build the future I wanted, I got stuck reviewing the past; And no matter how many times I reviewed it, I still couldn’t change any of it. Instead of enjoying the car I had, I yearned for another more expensive one. Instead of enjoying the home I lived in, I spent my time ogling bigger versions. Instead of enjoying my days, I worked longer hours in the hope that the extra cash would somehow change life from the outside in. Let me save the world some time. I was doing everything the wrong way around. If we’re not enjoying our lives as they are, it’s highly improbable that moderately better material possessions are going to change that. One’s ability to accept life as it is and as it happens can be directly co-related to our level of life-satisfaction.
Most of the self-help material that’s polluting people’s minds is only contributing to unhappiness and depression. They’re fomenting the creation of belief systems and expectations that are entirely unrealistic, even unreasonable; More so, these belief systems are entirely unnecessary to living a fulfilled life. Let me give you an example: The deliciousness of what you eat everyday has a much bigger real-life impact than if your dining room is big enough to seat twenty. If you have friends that care and can help you when you’re in a bind, that’s much more important than any sort of fame or recognition. I know some of this must sound like a prolonged cliché; But the more I observe of people’s lives, the more I see some of them unnecessarily setting themselves up for failure and disappointment. Both of which can easily be avoided if the same time used to indulge in unproductive escapism is used towards having concrete experiences that are enjoyable and satisfying.
The day my life started to change was the day when I first looked at myself in the mirror and started saying ‘it’s okay to be me’. I still have to repeat it often, but it works. The lives we lead, whether we know it or not, generally suit the experience we’ve had. This theory, of course, isn’t unilateral. Life isn’t just about accepting who and what we are. For it to really work it has to be a two way street. We have to able to accept that those around us have the exact same right to be who they are. We don’t have to torture ourselves to fulfil expectations set by others, but we also can’t and shouldn’t expect other s to live according to who and what we’d hoped they would be.