Explaining the North Carolina Vote: They were afraid of the Sugar Dandies.
If you’re in America (and not part of a pro
anti gay marriage campaign) you probably haven’t seen an entire British audience cheering on the Sugar Dandies. A gay couple. A pair of middle-aged men who have been together for 16 years. They’ve been married for five. Soren, who’s Scandinavian, is a psychologist. Bradley, who’s American, is a theatrical manager. Together they are the Sugar Dandies and what they do is come up with questionable ballroom dancing routines. The objective of their routines is obvious. What they’ve aimed to do all along is destroy the traditional marriages of people in North Carolina.
They first met in 1996 at a Gay Chorus Festival in Tampa, Florida. They claim it was love at first sight- but North Carolinians know it was not so. It’s not that Soren wanted to be with Bradley and Bradley with Soren. The couple realized that what they felt for each other, wasn’t actually about them- at all. Their relationship was about other people’s marriages, primordially about the marriages of members of the Christian Right who reside in North Carolina.
So their plot began. Bradley joined Soren in London. They decided ballroom dancing was the perfect gay-tool to attack traditional marriage. Their second gay-tool was their taste in clothing. The third, cheesy photographs. Their coup de grâce against traditional marriage was their appearance on Britain’s Got Talent. Simon Cowell immediately knew what they were up to. They were trying to question his heterosexuality. He rolled his eyes in an effort to expose them and prove his hetero-credentials.
The problem was that David Walliams was also on the panel of judges. If you’ve watched his show, Little Britain, you’re aware he’s also trying to destroy traditional marriage by making straight-married-men fall in love with Matt Lucas who plays a character called The Only Gay in the Village. You can see from Matt’s picture here on the right how far Walliams will go to normalize homosexuality. The Only Gay in the Village character is obviously designed to look like the average North Carolinian. Men from that state are supposed to look at him and think: “That could be me! I’d look just like that if I wore rubber shorts and a stretch lace top! I’m going to leave my cousin, who’s also my wife, and sign up for a homosexual lifestyle!”
You’re probably wondering how I know all of this, so I have an admission to make. I too am a part of Soren and Bradley’s campaign to destroy traditional marriage. When Mike and I decided to live together it had nothing to do with wanting to be together. Our real aim was to call into question the heterosexual marriages of North-Carolinians. When our lawyer drew up a contract making Mike my universal heir and me his universal heir, that had nothing to do with our lives and our property. It was a move designed to de-stabilize North Carolinian heterosexual marriages. That picture of Mike pointing at me at a dinner party… He was actually asking me how many hetero-marriages (in North Carolina) I was able to destroy that evening. I explained to him I had been eating and then telling people about the Zmurko I’d bought- but I had my eye on someone whose hetero- marriage might be threatened