The Pink Agendist

by E.B. de Mas, reachable at: pink.agendist@yahoo.com

Dalí & Lorca. Dear Salvador, Dear Lorquito

Today there’s an article in El País about a new book by journalist Victor Fernandez called Querido Salvador, Querido Lorquito (Elba). It’s about the letters between Dalí and Lorca. Forty or so survive. Apparently Gala destroyed some in jealous fits.

Tú eres una borrasca cristiana y necesitas de mi paganismo (…) yo iré a buscarte para hacerte una cura de mar. Será invierno y encenderemos lumbre. Las pobres bestias estarán ateridas. Tú te acordarás que eres inventor de cosas maravillosas y viviremos juntos con una máquina de retratar (…)”. Salvador Dalí

dalilorca

Ditty of First Desire

Federico García-Lorca

In the green morning
I wanted to be a heart.
A heart.

And in the ripe evening
I wanted to be a nightingale.
A nightingale.

(Soul,
turn orange-colored.
Soul,
turn the colour of love.)

In the vivid morning
I wanted to be myself.
A heart.

And at the evening’s end
I wanted to be my voice.
A nightingale.

Soul,
turn orange-coloured.
Soul,
turn the colour of love.

The Ayatollahs Hilarious Miscalculation. Problems with religious minds.

ayatollahsI can see it happening. It went something like this:

“We can’t rig every election. Last time was a close one. We announced the results just a few hours after the vote. People aren’t stupid. We won’t get away with that a second time”

“Yes, look around. Syria, Turkey. When people are pushed too far…”

“I have an idea!”

“Yes?”

“As we control who can run, we put in five conservative candidates and only one moderate!”

“Yes, yes, of course!”

“That means a five to one chance that a conservative will win!”

Contagious evil laughter fills the room.

OOPSEY-DOOPSEY!!! I guess an ayatollah or three missed a few classes at school. Look at this way, if the last election was rigged, and that’s quite obvious, and under those circumstances the opposition got over 33%, we can presume that if votes are properly counted Iran is much like the rest of the world. Voting is probably made up by two major parallel opposing blocks of approximately the same size, and then there’s a fickle centre that goes wherever the wind is blowing. If you dilute one of the major sides into five voting blocks, and then unite the entire opposition behind one single candidate, PRESTO! Iran goes from a president with a murky background- to one who spent part of the 70′s in Britain and has a doctorate in law. This has to be a step forward.

 

Out to Drinks & Dinner. That was not decaf.

We went out this evening with friends that were arriving from Germany. They came to meet us straight from the airport. It was one of those places that’s so ‘in’ that they don’t take reservations. That means we had to arrive there before they opened to get a decent table. I wore my sparkly Versace trousers. Not sure if it shows in the picture but when light hits them you see a shiny kashmir pattern.

15june2013

The food was excellent but I’m pretty sure the coffee they served me wasn’t decaf. I’m suddenly quite agitated. I committed myself to go to a party in Sylt (pronounced Zylt) next July. I tried everything I could think of to get out of it, but I failed. The idea of leaving Southern Spain to go to an island in Germany, however glamorous Germans may find it, seems a bit unusual to me. There may be a stop in Hamburg, but I’ve set a limit of 2 nights and three days for the whole thing to happen, so I’m not sure. I don’t get why people do these big parties any more. Much less why anyone would want me to go. I’ll just be one more of a hundred or so people. Anyway, it’s a big important thing to them and 3 days won’t kill me- I think.

Before I forget… Last night we re-watched Gades‘ version of Carmen. It’s magnificent. Carmen, as I promise you, you’ve never seen before. An incredible mix of flamenco and music. If you haven’t watched Carmen you should. Basically a gypsy girl seduces an innocent soldier. He leaves his first love for her. She then falls for a glamorous torero… And don’t worry, the habanera aria is in the original. I think it’s Callas’ version, but I’m not 100% sure.

Time to go sit outside, the weather is glorious.

Enough work for a Friday. It’s 27º C, and I’m going to do nothing but sit on the terrace and have a (many) drink(s). The pool thermostat is fixed, so I might even go in, or I might take some pictures of the garden. Meanwhile here are a couple from the terrace.

Casa Alba, Nancy Wilson, Amy & Me

We went out to dinner last night with a friend and her dog, Amy. Amy has a broken paw, were it not for the cast you wouldn’t notice. She jumps, runs and has a fantastic attitude. I wasn’t in the mood to iron, so I wore crumpled white linen and medium blue trousers. It’s wonderful to get to this point in life when one can say/think I don’t look good, and that’s okay. I spent my teens and most of my 20′s crippled by self-image issues. Hating the way I looked. Spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make myself look better. That seems to be over, for the most part.

13june2013Amy also wore blue and white

amy

ca08I’ve been helping put together a website in French for Casa Alba. That’s the gorgeous house (mansion, really) that I’m going to help show on French channel 5 in July (we’re filming next Thursday). I still don’t know what I’m going to wear. We’re halfway there, but I’ve still got tons to translate. I’ve loaned my website (for my house), www.sotogrande.us, as the web space since it’s an easy address for people to remember. Particularly because the houses are in Sotogrande. If you have any suggestions of what other information should be on the website, feel free to share. I haven’t finished uploading the pictures… so no need to suggest more pictures. Mike did a cute little sketch of the façade for it.

There’s a new commercial on British TV with a fantastic song that I’d never heard before: How Glad I Am by Nancy Wilson. It should really be one of our Gay Anthems. Have a listen:

Yes, but no, but yes, but no. In which one seems prone to thinking no but saying yes.

The television adventure returns for round two. After being granted a reprieve I wanted to be helpful (that’s sort of a chronic disease for me), so I thought I’d offer up my friend’s house to be on the show. It’s a multi (many-many-multi) million euro home and she’s exceptionally charming and talented, so really, she’s the one who should’ve been on television in the first place. The producers saw the pictures and loved it. My friend said yes to them. Suddenly I get a call today and I’m getting roped in to be on the program with her showing the house because I speak better French… And for some absurd reason I said yes.

So in the event you pick up French Channel 5, you may have the misfortune to see me, and even worse, hear me, in July. Before then, have a glimpse at her rather glorious home, and in the event you want to be my neighbour, and one-up me by living in a house that’s double the size of mine, and have a heated indoor pool (apart from the outdoor one), and have between 10 and 20 million euro to spend on a house (I’m not giving the exact price because it seems crass), drop me a line and I’ll help you arrange it :)

Chinese People: Stop Using the Google Translator!!!

Mike bought a pair of very cheap shoes to wear while gardening. This is the actual label that came attached to them:

chineselabelI particularly like the part where they say: “avoid soaking and acrubbing with water, and exposing to the sun, as well as becoming damp.” You can’t get better than shoes that can’t get wet and that you can only wear at night!

 

Saved by the Bell

Just when I was about to collapse in anxiety I got the message. The station wants to put the focus this season on contemporary design. I’m not entirely off the hook yet because she said they’ll probably come back to me next season- but now I feel I’m under no obligation :)

Anyway, in case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, there’s a French design program on C. 5 France where they visit designers in their homes all around the world. They contacted me a few days ago to know if I’d be interested in participating. I said yes without watching the program, thinking they’d just be doing a tour. Once I watched it I realized there was non-stop talking. It’s like an interview. This is why I did this, this is how I did that. I’m not at all comfortable with doing that sort of thing. Apart from that they wanted to do it at the end of this month, and there’s no way I can get the house looking tv ready in that short a period of time. The outdoor furniture is looking tired. The new chairs I got for the pergola don’t look quite right. The new palm trees still have their supports on them. The floors seriously need re-waxing. Touch-ups here, touch-ups there. The leather sofa in the study has seen better days. When I saw the sort of people they interview, I nearly fell off my chair. This would have certainly driven me to a breakdown. But now I think I’ll have a nice, quiet weekend, and I’ll sleep well tonight!

Sleepless and Dazed

I had one of those terrible nights of waking up, falling asleep again, waking up- being too hot, then cold, then the parts of my body under the duvet were too hot and the parts that were uncovered were too cold. The remote control for the thermostat must have thought I was going absolutely insane. I was drowning in self-doubt. We’re supposed to get the confirmation (or dismissal) of the tv thing today. Mike says he’s having absolutely no part in it, so it’s all on me. He also suggested he thought I don’t have the temperament to do this sort of thing because of my tendency to anxiety and monumental self-criticism. Now I feel a bit stupid for letting it all get to this point, I could have just said no, but after all the trouble everyone’s gone to, I can’t back out. At the same time I know that if I always say no to anything involving me publicizing my work, that will limit the possibilities of what I might be able to achieve. Although, sometimes I also think that I’m happy with where I am, there’s really nothing more I need to achieve- so is ambition just getting the best of me? Is it a pointless ambition that won’t make any substantive improvement in my life? Could such pursuits actually have a detrimental effect on me? Have I simply internalized this modern notion that there’s value in celebrity, in being recognized?

I swear it’s not gloating! (it just looks like it)

We had lunch at the yacht club today. They’ve got a new chef which is wonderful because I didn’t like the previous one’s food at all. The weather is lovely today.

yachtclub06june

I got some amazing work news today as well… but I’m not going to say what it is until the 26th of this month at which point it’ll already have happened. Hint: it could have something to do with me and television, but that’s all the information you’re getting for now!!! Fingers crossed!!!

The Extraordinarily Social Recluse. Errors in Self-Categorization. Trans-issues

I was annoyed earlier this week because of a phone call. I was impersonating a German woman on the phone (as one does) to get adsl installed at her house (at her request) since she doesn’t speak Spanish. It didn’t occur to me to disguise my voice. Voices come in all timbres, independent of gender, right? Lauren Bacall & Kathleen Turner certainly don’t sound like Fran Drescher. The attendant on the other side of the phone insisted I was not the lady in question. In fact, she said you’re not a woman. Evidently that’s true, but what if I were? It made me think that trans people probably have to deal with this sort of thing all the time. It must be infuriating. I did the whole I want to speak to your supervisor schtik, and insisted she apologize to me. When I was a teen I was accused of having certain characteristics that were deemed feminine. I was said to be too interested in the arts, in fashion, in how I groomed myself. I suppose that left me with the impression that there was something overtly feminine about me. To the point that I could pass myself off as a woman on the phone (obviously not taking into account that when I wake up I sound like Barry White).

That brought me to how skewed a view of ourselves we can have. People say things to us and we presume they know what they’re talking about, although their perspective may be entirely biased. For example, people talk about me as being a recluse. I do reject the majority of invitations we receive. There are really only a handful of people I interact with socially, that’s true; But as I was reviewing this blog, I was surprised to note, I seem to go out a whole lot. Lunch here, dinner there. It seems, to my surprise, that I have a very active social life. This week we’re going to drinks on Wednesday, then a lunch on Thursday, then another one on Friday. How could this recluse myth possibly have become a socially accepted truth? So much so that even I started believing it.

Are you sure you are who they say you are? Who you think you are?

What Are Your Legs Doing Around My Neck?

indiaOne of these children is very young, the other, who seems to have a thing for sitting (laying) on my lap, is extraordinarily smart. Instinctively manipulative. “It’s just too hot, I must go back into the pool”. She follows me around. Yesterday she rejected ‘the only thing they eat’ in favour of trying what I was eating instead. Apparently, now she just loves Chaumes, which I presume is unusual for a 4 year old. I think she might have her eye on stealing my identity and wearing my tiara. Mike says children and animals are attracted to me because they presume I’m on an equal footing with them since I interact with them on those terms. If one of the dogs is sleeping on the sofa where I usually sit, I’ll sit somewhere else. If a child asks me a question, I’ll probably give them a straight answer. Ms. Why (pictured above) asks a lot of questions. In return I ask questions back. She also informs me she wants to stay here forever. Forever is apparently 100 days. Yesterday I taught her how to identify which way a piece of clothing has to be put on by making sure the label is at the back.

I’ve been reminiscing about my colourful past thanks to The Voice UK. My life seems rather absurd in retrospect. One of the contestants sang Finally by Ce Ce Peniston. Ages ago Ms. Peniston and I found ourselves at a party at neighbouring tables (before she performed). I was certainly drunk but I remember a member of the Moroccan royal family asked me to invite her to his yacht. Things were going wrong with the sound, dancers didn’t show up- eventually she pulled me up on stage to dance with her. Her security people tried to pull me away (OUTRAGEOUS, since she pulled me up), but she shooed them away. That probably means there’s a very strange video of a 20 something year old me dancing with Ce Ce Peniston out there, somewhere. I remember I was wearing Saint-Tropez bell bottoms and an Armani shirt. Both navy blue. I called Mike from the party (we weren’t a couple yet), he told me I was wearing myself thin. I told him you can’t be too rich or too thin, so I was on the right path.

In other news some of my glads are starting to flower:

glads

My Miniature Guests

s&i

They arrived and I was warned of all sorts of fears. They were allegedly afraid of dogs, afraid of swimming alone, afraid of swimming without arm floaties, afraid, afraid. My feeling on such matters is that children develop certain fears because parents indulge the sentiment. That then builds a cycle where the parents validate and re-confirm the fears and the fears are then cemented into an individual’s personality. I explained my theory to my older guests. Tell them the facts and don’t make a big deal about it. These dogs are gentle, there’s no reason for fear. A short thirty minutes later we had our first child/dog contact. Notice the child is tentatively reaching out to touch the dog.

s&i2By the end of the afternoon they were running up and down the garden and throwing a toy for the dogs to catch. The pool was negotiated in exactly the same way. We went from “I won’t get off the step” to two full laps (without any assistance) before the sun set. There was a little bit of bribing and a whole lot of applause, but I think it was well worth it. All that being said, I can’t imagine how people manage to take care of children on a daily basis. By 6pm I was exhausted. The older child is going through the why phase. The younger is in her it’s mine phase. I insisted this was my house rather than hers, but she disagreed to the end. We made mini-pizzas, there were juice boxes, we picked flowers (and for some arbitrary child reason, each flower had to be a different colour), the older of the two children recited nursery rhymes. I think they had fun because they’re hoping to do it all again tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll have recovered by then. I went to bed satisfied with the notion that being gay means I was never expected to have children. I don’t think I would have been able to handle it without a nanny or three. I’ll even admit that once or twice I was so tired I was secretly thinking “Where’s the prejudice against me? Shouldn’t there be a little bit of prejudice? Are you sure I’m the right person to be taking care of children? I’m gay, you know.”

Nothing interesting to say, except I’m going to be fatherly(ish)

I’ve been through so many auction catalogue pages this weekend, when I close my eyes I’m still seeing red stoneware. There are a couple of good Bottger pieces going up for auction at Bonham’s in London in June, so fortunately that doesn’t clash with any of the sales I’m organizing. One of the pieces is quite nice (as far as these things go):

bottgerhexagonalThe estimate is 40,000 to 60,000 GBP (US$60,000 to 91,000). I think it’ll lean towards the high end of the estimate (if not more). One of the Bottger items I’m researching is also extraordinarily early and rare, so I’m hoping it reaches a good price level when it goes up for sale later this year. One could always do with a nice cash injection.

Our friend who’s divorcing is arriving from Britain tonight with his two daughters in tow. I’m not sure how long they’re staying, but I think they all need a break. I’ve never particularly liked children- which makes it unusual that children seem drawn to me. The two arrivals are girls. One is nearly five and the other nearly three. I guess the house seems a bit like an adventure to children. The dogs, the woods, the stream. At night they can hear frogs and owls. I’ve told them that the girls need to learn how to swim during this trip. Our pool is right outside the living areas, we can’t have children who don’t know how to swim here. When Mike’s niece and nephew were little, I used to have the energy to play games with them. Jenga and trivial pursuit etc. Now one works at the International Criminal Court in the Hague and the other is at university in Britain. Time goes by so quickly.

I’m Always Surprised at How Much I Can Drink

calle-sotogrande

Sotogrande Street

Dinner was amazing yesterday. The club/restaurant was overflowing with people. It’s funny because you drive down the streets of Sotogrande and never see a soul. There’s the occasional jogger or Filipino maid walking to the gates, but not much else. I had tuna tataki (again) as a starter, and then the rib eye, which was wonderful. Then an Irish coffee. Then we had a night-cap at the neighbour’s house which lasted ’til 3am (Mike came home about 2 hours earlier- lightweight!). I think I drank half a bottle of brandy. It was Orleans Borbón and went down like velvet. A friend stayed over here afterwards as to not drive home drunk. I hope the people from last night weren’t horribly bored by me. I talked much too much about antique yixing ceramics (which I’m currently researching). I discovered somewhere in adolescence that people in society generally prefer lighthearted, meaningless conversation and that seeming intellectual is uncool- so I learnt to disguise it well. Sometimes I forget and it bubbles up to the surface. Isn’t it absurd that playing dumb and pretty makes someone more popular than discussing things one actually knows about?

I don’t have a hangover, but I think I might still be feeling a slight buzz. Sometimes I wonder if my body is just going to shut down one night, give up. Sorry, Sir, you’ve done enough. I can’t take it anymore. Then again, Winston Churchill lived until he was 90 and he always had a cigar in his mouth and a whiskey in his hand. Three of my grandparents are still alive and one died in his mid-eighties, so I guess genetically speaking I might do just fine. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? A lifetime of drinking and smoking and good food? My epitaph could be He never did what they said was good for him.

Some renters arrived this morning at the Laing house next door. They’re listening to some very questionable music of the rap variety. Maybe it’s hip-hop, I’m not sure which is which, but I find the sound unpleasant. There’s something aggressive about it. I’ve never understood the appeal. Isn’t the world sufficiently dire? Do people really need to go around saying ho and bitch and talking about violence- there’s not even a melody to soften the blow. Fortunately I can only hear it from my bathroom. Mike was right about how to place the house on the plot, we can’t hear any noise at all in any of the living-areas, bedrooms or garden. The weather is glorious and the garden looks fantastic. I think I’m not going to do anything of any importance at all today.

 

Nah-nah-nah-na-nah-na, I’m going to the polo club, you’re not going to the polo club, nah-na-nah

This evening we’re invited to dinner at the Ayala Polo Club. The restaurant is absolutely fantastic. You get to sit right by the fields. I’m not sure what it is about polo, but as sports clubs go, they’ve got the best looking and most interesting people- as opposed to, for example, golf clubs. I’m wearing black and white…

fridaypolo

 

and Morgan says hello

morgan

No, I’m not too big to be a lapdog!

The Very Predictable Future of the Anti-Gay Debate in Britain & France. A Sense of Déjà-vu.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe Now

This week there was a sacrifice at the altar of Notre Dame de Paris. The extremist right winger, Dominique Venner, 78, shot himself in the head. He was an ardent opponent of the immigration of citizens of the developing world to Europe and just hours before his death he wrote a blog post calling for ‘radical resistance’ to the newly passed French same-sex marriage law. Mr. Venner’s pathological narcissism is the perfect illustration of the mind-set exploited by right wing groups/ideology. They build up their self-importance to such an extent where they feel that every action, undertaken anywhere, is directly related to their being. This is the only viable thought process for an individual to be so utterly and personally offended by contracts that only concern the rights of the signatories in regards to each other, as is the case of a marriage contract.

In civil law, which is the only law governments should concern themselves with, marriage is a partnership agreement. Not unlike when two people get together to open a business. In fact my business partnership contract is extraordinarily similar to a marriage contract. There are a series of rights and responsibilities outlined in said contract. If my partner builds up debt, I’m partially liable. I have certain duties regarding the functioning of our business, as does she. The main difference, which is merely technical, is that we’re friends rather than lovers. Mr. Venner’s delusion is tantamount to me being offended by the minutiae of the private contractual agreements he may or may not have had with his wife (if he had one) or his contract with his publisher. I’m quite certain very few, if any, French gays ever concerned themselves with Mr. Venner’s legal or bureaucratic affairs. Worse of all, he led himself to believe that ending his life in a theatrical scene would have an effect on the decisions of private citizens to sign contracts giving each other certain rights. Sorry Mr. Venner, if Mike and I ever decide to get a French union at the French consulate in Seville, the fact you ruined some unfortunate janitor’s day at Notre Dame will not affect our decision! I could go on and on about his grandiose delusions including his choice of venue for his very public suicide, but they speak for themselves.

tonyhopkinsThe Then

The past few weeks were a very déjà-vu experience for us. Almost everything that’s been happening in France, then Britain, happened in Spain many years ago. I remember, because I was a vociferous part of it. I campaigned in 2004 and 2005 for gay marriage. We were confronted with the exact same accusations and sometimes even intimidation by right wing political and religious groups. We suffered the indignity of an ardently Catholic doctor named Aquilino Polaino being taken before parliament to give unscientific testimony, dragging out myths of yesteryear, such as gay men being the result of absent fathers and domineering mothers. Sorry lesbians, you never get mentioned by those people because apparently, you don’t exist- you just haven’t met the right guy yet! During Mr. Polaino’s testimony, I was sitting at the computer, and I was researching his writing. I had the tremendous pleasure of finding his essays on demonic possession. Before his testimony was over, I’d sent hundreds of letters to every LGBT association in Spain with copies of it and to the dean of the University at which he was said to work. In reality he didn’t even work there anymore. The dean put out a statement rejecting Polaino’s views and sent me a very nice personal note. The aftermath of the doctor’s testimony is history. Later, the Catholic church paid millions to bus people from all over Spain to protest against gay marriage in Madrid. American Evangelical right wing groups sent people to Spain to assist, instruct and sell their anti-gay propaganda to two groups replicating the American Hate Group model. They were called Hazteoir and Foro de la Familia. Even call centre type bunkers were set up in the American south, by Evangelical groups, intended to drown Spanish internet publications/message boards with their anti-gay propaganda (fortunately, easily recognizable due to their repetitiveness and unfamiliarity with European Spanish) .

Their efforts were in vain.

The What’s To Come

Just as in France today, we had the die-hard bigots. Mayors and even judges who assured us they would refuse to enforce the law. They would not perform marriages, they would be conscientious objectors. The PP (Spain’s major right wing party) went as far as to initiate a motion of unconstitutionality at the constitutional court. To make a long story short, none of it worked. It didn’t work because considering the incredibly high level of approval of gay marriage in the under 35′s, if any party wants to remain electable, the hate model is no longer deemed acceptable by a generation that has direct access to information. Now it takes 10 minutes, a computer and google to discredit the misinformation promulgated by anti-gay groups. Educated people know homosexuality isn’t a disease and those who aren’t educated can check with any of the major psychological/psychiatric associations of the world. There’s a meta-study that shows that growing up with gay parents is really no different than growing up with straight parents.  All of that means that time is on our side. It’s on the side of reason. Religious lobbies may go insane and pour tens of millions into anti-gay propaganda (in bursts) and that does have an immediate effect on public opinion, but as the days go by people have time to verify the information. Time to see the sky isn’t falling. Time to recognize they’re being played by groups that have no interest in anything but their votes and/or their money. Now nearly a decade has gone by since the legalization of gay marriage in Spain and socially, Spaniards have not become a culturally different people because of LGBT unions- only perhaps in the sense that there’s more respect for us.

The Glory of Encaustic Tiles

azulejohidraulico

19th Century French Encaustic Tiles

The more houses we look at in France, the more I love these tiles. It’s an easy way to make a big statement. They can really transform a bland space into something very special. Unfortunately I wasn’t brave enough to use them here in larger rooms, but we have them in some of the bathrooms. Next house I’ll go for something more dramatic somewhere. I’ve been trying to get a client to put them in her kitchen, but she’s not yet convinced. They’re heavy and thick and made of cement. The pattern isn’t the result of glazing but of different colours of clay. There are printed versions that are cheaper and also have a similar effect. Modern designs are also available.

In one of our guest bathrooms they look like this:

In related news I recently found an interesting fellow designer on wordpress. You should have a look at his work. His name is Orlando Soria. I love his sort of very American approach to design. Everything looks very sleek and new. I’m used to dealing with art and antiques and clients who more or less want their homes worked around things they already own. Except, obviously, for that project I’ve been posting about recently. The one I’m still not entirely comfortable with, precisely because I’m not used to this style. He’s also quite good looking, but I swear that didn’t influence my opinion.

Can You Help Me Become a Huge Twit?

I wanted to make my outrage about something known to someone… and I read that Twittering is a good way to do just that; So I’ve signed up for an account. I’m: https://twitter.com/pinkagendist

The problem is I have no idea how this thing actually works- so if any of you can enlighten me, it would be much appreciated! How do I get what I have to say to the people to whom I want to say it?

Christine Boutin & the Other Homophobes Sullying the French Flag

DirtyFrenchFlag

During the past year I have had the displeasure to observe the most disgusting debate on gay marriage to have taken place in Western Europe in the 21st century. The French right-wing, effectively the political branch of the Christian/Catholic Right, have been all too happy to replicate the American Right’s model of promoting hatred against gays. They’ve used the same junk “science”, dragged out the same fallacious arguments, and by doing so have created an environment of hate which has endangered the lives of the French LGBT community. Just ask Wilfred de Bruijn, the victim of a recent homophobic attack in Paris.

Wilfred de Bruijn's photograph from his Facebook page

Courtesy of the Environment Created by the French Right Wing.

Today I woke up to one of France’s Homophobes in Chief, Christine Boutin, telling the world that “…there are laws that are superior to those of the Republic. She also mentioned that if she were a mayor she would refuse to perform gay marriages, as a conscientious objector. Boutin’s words echo those of the wing of the Catholic Church that supported Fascism and of proponents of Shariah law. They’re also in line with the American Evangelical movements attempts to make their ideology the law of the land, to the exclusion of all else. What her proposition means in practical terms is that Catholic officials would be free to deny authorizing divorces. Pacifist police officers and soldiers could renege on their duty to protect the public and Jehova’s Witness’ doctors could deny their patients blood transfusions.

I’ve always been proud to hold up my burgundy passport with the crest of the French Republic on its cover reminding me of the values of the Bleu, Blanc et Rouge: Liberty, Equality and Fraternity. For a year I’ve been ashamed a sector of the French citizenry does not believe in those ideals. They are a stain on the flag, the great shame of a country which has historically been a symbol of enlightenment- evidently it was despite the reactionary sector of the populace.

Dinner for Eight and an Amazing Starter

We’re going to have dinner with our Hamburg friends tomorrow night and we’ve come up with an interesting new method. From now on when we meet for lunch or dinner, when I’m cooking I’ll do it at their place and when they’re cooking they’ll do it here. That means whoever cooks doesn’t have to worry about setting up or cleaning-up afterwards. The venison loin is big enough for eight, so we’re having it there tomorrow. I was looking for something interesting to start with and found something absolutely wonderful by Thomasina Miers.

It’s like a bloody mary, but with tequila instead of vodka and filled with seafood. It’s served in glasses. Extremely easy to make. I’ve just tried it, although I added cooked mussels, clams (without shells, obviously) and monkfish. The combination of flavours is outstanding. I considered substituting the tomato juice for V8 or Clamato, but there was none in the house and I didn’t feel like going out just for the that. It worked beautifully with plain tomato juice.

 

Ingredients (for two people)

  • 350ml tomato juice
  • 50ml freshly squeezed orange juice
  • juice 1 lime
  • ½ tbsp grenadine
  • 1 ½ tbsp Worcestershire sauce and a very healthy shake of Tabasco
  • ¼ cucumber
  • 140g scallops
  • ½ avocado
  • 100g cooked prawns
  • spring onions , finely chopped
  • 1 tbsp tequila (100% blue agave)
  • handful coriander , chopped
  • crackers and buttered bread , to serve

Method

  1. In a jug, mix together the tomato, orange and lime juice with the grenadine, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, ½ tsp salt and pepper. Check the seasoning – you are looking for a nice balance of fire to pep you up, saltiness to season the rest of the ingredients you’ll be adding, a refreshing citrus kick from the orange and lime, and enough sweetness from the grenadine to balance the rest of the flavours. Chill in the fridge for at least 30 mins.
  2. Cut the cucumber in half lengthways and scoop out the seeds with a small spoon. Finely dice the flesh into 4-5mm cubes. Dice the scallops and avocado into similar sizes and mix everything into the chilled tomato juice along with the prawns and chopped spring onions. Serve in small glasses, drizzled with the Tequila, scattered with coriander, with crackers or buttered bread on the side.

A Very Interesting Perspective on Depression, Happiness & Other Issues

An interesting book’s come out by James Davies (PhD in medical anthropology). It’s called Cracked. He presents a very interesting perspective on the ‘medicalization‘ of society. I hope the topic continues to be explored in depth. I think he gets a lot of it right. Depression and other mental health issues are now treated as if they exist in a vacuum. As if they have no relation to the rest of our lives or even as if they can serve as the sole explanation for all our problems. (The same seems to be true of all addiction-related matters). This dismisses personal responsibility and reasonable human reactions that are entirely justified. Going through a hard time and recognizing that your hardship is hardship is a normal part of life. It took me years to be able to differentiate what was depression and what was a normal reaction because doctors on tight schedules are generally quite happy to lump it all together. If you’re having a tough year financially or someone you care for is ill- you should expect to feel negative emotions. Pills will not fix it, although they may mask your feelings. When we only consider medical solutions, we close the door to examining what the actual root of our problems may be.

In hindsight I can see that my adolescent depression wasn’t depression at all. I disliked my school. I disliked the constraints of childhood and I couldn’t stand the weight of the expectations that were placed on me. The second I embarked on adulthood, and could control my own life, most of those feelings diminished significantly. Unfortunately I had a already formed the very bad habit of indulging in negative thought processes. I’ve learnt, although I still have to work on it regularly, to recognize and actively work against this harmful way of thinking. I think most people who suffer from depression or anxiety-related issues could greatly reduce their symptoms if they take the cognitive-behavioural approach to the problem. There is much that we actually can control in our lives.

A tired sort of Thursday- another little roundup

Since last Wednesday we’ve had social things to do nearly every day. Lunches/Dinners/Drinks etc. Absolutely exhausting. Today we’re finally free. The printer broke down and it just happens to  have happened a month after the warranty ran out.  We were given a whole loin of venison. It’s a huge thing and I now have to figure out what to do with it. I’ve never cooked venison, so this is uncharted territory. In case you have a tried and tested absolutely amazing recipe… do share!

There’s a GORGEOUS new puppy in the neighbourhood named Amy. She comes to us for a couple of hours a day to be socialized. Rudy seems to adore her.

amy1

 

 

The 7 Craziest Things Anti-Gay Bigots Say About Us / Queerty

The 7 Craziest Things Anti-Gay Bigots Say About Us / Queerty.

Out to Lunch (again)

Our friends from Hamburg are here (I know, much too early for the season), and they’ve invited us to lunch at Pura Tapa, which at the moment is my favourite place. Their summer house is 2 houses up from us, so there’s the added advantage that they drive and we get to drink.

I’m going to have the tuna tataki which is outstanding there. And I’m wearing stripes…

10may

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